Relena and Heero's Wedding
by Sailor Kirby
Summary: My thoughts on what these two's proposal, wedding, ect, might be like. I think it's funny, please R and R!
1. The Proposal

Okay, this is a bit of fun I thought of, I hope you enjoy. And I own neither Gundam Wing nor the World, even though it would be cool of I did.  
  
The Proposal  
  
Relena heard a knock on her door.  
  
"Coming!" she called, jumping lightly down each stair. Peering through the door's hole, she was shocked to see the thin figure of Heero. Grinning, she pulled out a pocket mirror and checked her hair. Pulling open the door, she let out a fake gasp.  
  
"HEERO! How lovely. Haven't seen you for ages, you're visit was COMEPLETLY unexpected. Come in, come in," she stepped out of the doorway, beckoning him in. Heero stepped in. He faced her.  
  
"Well, I guess there's no subtle way to do this," he sighed, pulling a small box and tossing it towards her, "Here." Relena, confused, caught the box, and looked inside.  
  
It was a ring.  
  
"Oh Heero," she gasped. He shrugged.  
  
"Nothing special, you could probably get a nicer-looking one out of a cereal box, but it's the thought, right? Now what am I forgetting…? Oh, right," he dropped on his knee, "Relena Peacecraft, marry me, will ya?" Relena screamed with happiness.  
  
"YES! YES OF COURSE I WILL!" she grabbed Heero's neck and hugged him fiercely.  
  
"Umm… Relena? You're choking me." She let go and went to go call everyone she knew, including the tele-marketers that called.  
  
Well, funny or not? Huh? Come on, tell me! Please? If you do, I give you a whole five minutes with the groom-to-be! *Relena glares* Oops, sorry. Okay, the best man then, Duo! *my friend Duoet grabs Duo and glares as well* Well, I guess we could do…  
  
Cunobaby and JessieHeart: You say (in Cunobaby's case) Quatre/ (and in JessieHeart's case) Trowa and I will kill you.  
  
Okay, well I'm not giving away Wufei, so I guess you're just going to have to tell me out of the goodness of your heart. I.E, PLEASE TELL ME! Up next, The Wedding! 


	2. The Wedding

Okay here's the next chapter to my little bit of fun. And I still don't own anything…  
  
The Wedding  
  
Relena stood proudly, smoothing her elaborate wedding gown again. Hilde and Sally tsked at her.   
  
"Relena, you're going to wrinkle that dress if you keep flattening it," Hilde told her.  
  
"How is that possible?" Relena asked dreamily, the thought of her and Heero being married at last running through her mind.  
  
Heero stood up at the alter, the scowl evident on his face. Dou poked him playfully on the shoulder.  
  
"Can't even smile on you're wedding day?" he asked. Heero shook his head.  
  
"Too nervous," he said, straitening his collar. His best man glanced around the pews, looking for people he knew. Ah, there was Wufei, a strange girl with hip-length brown hair and a pink and black Sailor Moon uniform clutching his arm possessively (a.k.a.: ME!).  
  
"So Wufei's the only one of us not getting a part in this?" Duo asked, knowing that Quatre and Trowa were providing music with the infamous flute and violin. Heero shrugged.  
  
"New girlfriend wouldn't let him. But that at least makes one person that's here for me, not Relena."  
  
"Good point," Duo mused. Just then Quatre and Trowa struck up the wedding march. Relena appeared, clutching her brother's arm. Zex/ Milardo (did I spell that right?) had accepted the job of best man. After a few minutes, they finally reached the altar. A minister stepped up.  
  
"Blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah." He went through the traditional junk.   
  
"And if anyone here has a suitable reason these two should not wed," he glanced at Heero and shuddered, "I would advise against it." Suddenly a man stood up timidly.  
  
"Actually, I…" Heero whipped out a gun and shot the man in the arm. The poor guy collapsed on the floor.  
  
"Never mind," he moaned. Relena looked at Heero.  
  
"Heero! Shame on you. Where did you get that thing anyway?" Heero shrugged.  
  
"What, you thought I wouldn't carry a gun just because I was getting married?" Relena sighed.  
  
"Have you the ring?" the Minister asked, careful not to look Heero straight in the eye and provoke him. Heero pulled out the rings and put one on Relena's finger and the other on his.  
  
"You may now kiss the bride," The Minister said. Heero spun Relena into his arms and kissed her like in one of those action movies. Duo thumped Heero on the back as the Newly-Weds ran out the building.   
  
Author's Note: Okay, so I'm done… Maybe. Submit a review saying if you want a Honeymoon chapter or whatever. But before any random sicko may even consider of suggesting it, I WILL NOT DO LEMONS. Not even if it's a Honeymoon chapter. It's my fic and I'll do what I want. So there. And if no one reviews saying yay or nay, then I will decide for myself. Thanks a bunch! 


	3. The Reception

Yea! I got reviews! I didn't receive claims to this show, but I did get REVIEWS! Whahaha! Oh, and thanks to the beautiful people who told me that it's Zechs not Zex. Just shows what I know… One more thing. I was NOT implying that Quatre and Trowa were a couple. They were just in a band. No offense meant to any others, especially Funny Bunny, my favorite author, but I am for the most part against yaoi couplings. Anyway, here it is, the results of my vote:   
  
For a Honeymoon: A bunch! I lost count, because some of them got deleted with all the others on that day, but I received e-mail proof of them!   
  
Against a honeymoon: …0…  
  
I GOT REVIEWS!   
  
Actually, the Honeymoon chapter will be next. Someone in one of the deleted reviews had the idea of a reception. I thought this would be a GREAT idea! So here's the wonderful idea of a reception. Hope you don't mind and sorry it took so long!  
  
  
  
The Reception   
  
  
  
Relena was bombarded by people when she and Heero got to the reception hall. Heero was just attacked, or approached by, the G-boys. And their girlfriends. But they were made to sit down, because one is me, the other my sister, another my friend, and my other friend (Duo is hers, no matter what any others say), and that can be kind of destructive. Eventually we were asked to leave by Relena's second aunt-by-marriage (not her and Heero's), five times removed. What the heck was she doing there anyway? So everyone except Duoet that were with one of the Unmarried G-boys left. SUCKS FOR US. Eventually, everyone sat down for dinner. This could obviously lead to bad things. A.K.A, the Best Man, didn't know he was supposed to do a speech.  
  
The sound of a fork hitting a glass echoed through the hall.   
  
"And now for the Best Man, Duo Maxwell, I believe his name was? Will make his speech," some old fat guy announced. Duo choked.  
  
"WHAT speech?" he demanded at Heero. Heero glared.  
  
"Your BEST MAN speech." Heero was NOT happy about having to answer that.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, nobody said anything about a speech," Duo whispered frantically. Heero looked exasperated.  
  
"Best men ALWAYS make speeches. Now get up there and say something. Make a speech, idiot (at this point, Duoet hit him over the head)!" Duo awkwardly stood up on his chair.  
  
"A WEDDING APPROPRIATE speech, Duo." Heero added.  
  
"Um, I'm Duo. And that's my girlfriend, Duoet (pronounced duet, like two people singing). We, uh, are in love…And it's that kind of love we are here to honor today. The love between a man and woman, like Heero and Relena, and me and Duoet. So let us raise up our glasses," he raised up his glass, "to the love that exists in this very room. Love…peace. Peace…and love." Duo gulped his glass. Duoet clapped. The rest of the congregation sat in dumb confusion, except for Heero and Relena, who hid their faces. Duo sat down. Leaning over to Heero, he whispered.  
  
"NEVER let me do that again."   
  
After another grueling half an hour, including opening presents in which they received FIFTEEN toasters, Relena and Heero were FINNALLY allowed to go on their honeymoon.  
  
Oh, happy day.  
  
Except for the parting words from Duo-  
  
"You know because of that speech, I WILL FOLLOW YOU." Heero groaned as Relena pulled him into the limo.  
  
Because Duo was quite likely to follow them.  
  
And that can NEVER lead to good things.  
  
Author's Note: Ta-Da! *special effects* my very fun, or at least very fun in my opinion, Reception chapter! Hope all you people out there liked it! 


	4. The Honeymoon

Here it is, the one we've all been waiting for, the long-awaited Honeymoon chapter!  
  
"Heero," Relena leaned over to tap him on the shoulder. They were in her *pink* limousine. Heero in a pink limo. That's interesting, "Heero, look out the window." Heero looked out the window.  
  
"Where the *insert inappropriate word here, deleted to keep G rating* are we?" he asked. Relena smiled.  
  
"A cruise ship."  
  
"A cruise ship? I didn't book a cruise ship. I booked a hotel far away enough to even keep Duo from bothering us. And that is hard to do, you realize."  
  
"What fun is a hotel? All they've got there is a pool. A cruise ship is MUCH more fun. And even Duo can't tease us on a ship. Too many people. Come on, let's go!" Relena pulled her newly-wed husband out of the *pink* limo. Heero looked at it.  
  
"When we get back, that thing is getting sent for scrap," he informed her. She frowned.  
  
"We could just get it a paint job."  
  
"With the way I drive? No paint job could last. There would be pink scratches up and down the stupid thing." Relena remembered the ambulance from day they had met and shuddered.  
  
"I'm not letting you anywhere NEAR any cars."  
  
The two newly-weds FINALLY got on the stupid ship. Immediately, a butler asked Heero if he wanted a towel. Heero looked at him strangely before saying no. Relena made a beeline towards a throng of other girls sporting wedding rings. They all 'ooh'ed over the emerald-studded gold band around her ring finger, then all clambered to show her theirs. Heero found himself surrounded by a group of men.  
  
"You just get married to?" One of the guys nodded towards the plain band around Heero's finger. Heero wearing a ring. Hmm. He scowled.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Which chick is yours?" A beefy man with a mustache asked, "The one with the green hair is mine." Heero raised an eyebrow as he looked over and saw a lady at least ten years younger than this man with vibrant green hair and bright pink eyes. She turned around and winked at her husband. He grinned stupidly, blowing a spit bubble in attempts to blow a kiss. His wife let out a shrill giggle. Heero shuddered. One of the other guys thumped him on the back. Heero whirled around.  
  
"Don't touch me. I'm not a touchy kind of person," he said in an almost growl. The beefy man turned back to him.  
  
"So which broad did you say was yours?"  
  
"I just hope it's not that one," a sneering man pointed directly at Relena, "I'm going to try and flirt her tonight. But you seem the kind of guy who would get a little upset about that."  
  
"She is and I am," Heero said threateningly. The sneering man studied him for a moment, fear crossing his eyes.  
  
"I was joking, of course," he added smoothly. Relena, fortunately, ran over.  
  
"Heero, we have to go dance!" she pulled him to the dance floor. Heero made a 'you saved my life' sort of face. It must have been bad for him, he never makes that face. Not even when Duo actually DID save his life. Poor guy. As they twirled, Heero spoke to Relena about something that was bugging him.  
  
"Relena, please never dye your hair green or get ridiculous colored contacts." She looked him strangely.  
  
"Alright Heero, I won't," she promised. Right about now the butler came around again, asking Heero if he wanted a towel.  
  
"No, I DO NOT want a towel." Relena, however, politely refused. The butler moved on.  
  
Later, as they were eating a candle-lit dinner, Heero sneezed. That was all it took for the butler to come back, offering a towel.  
  
"I don't want a towel," Heero said in an almost strained voice as he struggled not to attack the butler. Relena would have frowned upon that.   
  
The next morning, the two of them went to play tennis. Heero in tennis shorts. Okay… (Curse the stupid authoress who keeps scaring herself with her own fic!) Heero won. Well, Relena sort of… let him win, because he got that crazed mission face on, and she didn't want him to attempt self-detonation if he lost. But he won, so our favorite guy (married guy, at least. Wufei is mine! Anyway…) is still living. Relena went off to talk to the other newlyweds, Heero had flat out refused to come, to avoid risking an encounter with the scary men again. This meant leaving Heero to his own devices. I.E, sitting next to the pool because Relena told him directly-  
  
"Nothing dangerous to yourself or others, anything to do with explosives, explosive is defined as something that goes BOOM and destroys something, no shooting, maiming, or dissecting of any kind, and do NOT try and self-detonate into the pool. Have fun Heero!" Heero frowned.  
  
"So what am I supposed to do for fun?" He sighed. Those guys were creepy. How could Relena stand those people?  
  
"Excuse me sir, would you like a towel?" Twitching, Heero turned to see the butler. AGAIN. Heero screamed.  
  
"I DON'T WANT A STUPID TOWEL!!" he whipped out his gun and shot the guy down. Or that was the plan… His gun wasn't in the holster. He didn't even have his holster.   
  
"Wait right here," he said, running off to find Relena.   
  
"Relena, did you take my gun?" He asked. She looked at him surprised.   
  
"Of course I did. How else was I supposed to keep you from shooting?" Heero did that trademark 'Heero is surprised/unhappy' look. The green haired girl let out a squeal, clutching her husband's arm.  
  
"Oh Miss Relena, he's so adorable!" Her husband looked at Heero.  
  
"Will you be joining us then?" Heero looked at him startled.  
  
"Um, no that's… uh, yeah. I gotta go," he ran back to the pool. Again, or that was the plan. He crashed into someone on the way.  
  
"DOU?!?!?!" Heero shrieked. The braided guy looked up, eyes brightening.  
  
"Heero, I finally found you! Told you I'd follow you!" This was the last straw for poor Heero. Screaming, he ran to he and Relena's room, grabbed one of their many toasters, and heaved it at Duo. He ducked, running away. Relena had walked up by this time.  
  
"Heero!" she scolded  
  
"What? We have fourteen other toasters!" Relena rolled her eyes, but she loved Heero, so she shook her head and awaited that little day when the cruise was over and Duo wasn't in life-threatening toaster danger…  
  
Author's Note: Okay. That's it. The Honeymoon chapter. Sorry nobody was in character, but I tried. I really did, I promise! If there's something else you might want to see, just let me know. I'm not picky, except I don't want them to get divorced, and I won't write lemons, no matter what the circumstances. And I have this to say to my wonderful readers-  
  
To YaYuki- I'd hate to be Relena trapped in an elevator with you. (she likes Heero A LOT)  
  
To Motorola Wolffe- I wouldn't want to be a Relena/Heero fan lost in a dark alley with you.  
  
To Becca- Wow! You really like it?  
  
Anyway, thank you for reading! 


	5. The Announcement

A couple people suggested this, so I thought I'd do it. It sounded like fun! Anyway, Relena's pregnant, and Heero doesn't know yet! Here it is-  
  
The Announcement  
  
(Enjoy.)  
  
Relena held it in her hands, eyes shut firmly. Taking a breath to steady herself, she peeked open one eye. A mix of emotions washed over her. The device read positive.  
  
She busied herself in the kitchen, not really doing anything. How to tell Heero? Relena sighed. She was happy, yet distressed. Excited, but too nervous for words. So she did the one (semi) logical thing there was to do.  
  
She called Duo.  
  
'Logical' may have been the wrong word.  
  
"You're WHAT?" Duo gasped into the phone, "Does Heero know?"  
  
"N.Not yet," Relena admitted. There was a slight pause.  
  
"Then why the heck did you call me?" Relena hung up the phone. It seemed Duo wouldn't be much help either. She came up with an idea, hurrying to go buy something special for dinner.  
  
Heero walked in the door around five, where he found his wife staring blankly at the door. She had one this for about three hours, waiting for him to come home, but by this time she had gone numb, and was unable to register that it had finally opened. Heero waved a hand in front of her face and she sat upright.  
  
"You okay?" he asked concernedly. She stood up quickly.  
  
"Fine, I'm fine, I had a great day, nothing suspicious is going on, how was your day at work?" all of this came out in one breath. Heero blinked.  
  
"Uh... fine." Relena turned to the stove, mindlessly chattering.  
  
"Today I thought we'd have baby back ribs, you like them, don't you?" Suddenly Relena was staring into Heero's face appealingly. The poor guy was horribly confused.  
  
"Umm, I don't think. I've had them before."  
  
"Neither have I, Heero, but we'll get through this together." Heero was even more lost now. He looked at Relena.  
  
"Is there something you need to tell me?" he asked. Relena sighed, nodding her head. Heero got the feeling he should sit down and did so, flopping into a kitchen chair. Relena paced in front of him, trying to put it into just the right words.  
  
"Heero I'm pregnant." Dang it, she hadn't meant to be so blunt.  
  
"Oh, that's great Relena!" Heero said, "Now we can start our family."  
  
Relena smiled, glad Heero had taken it so well.  
  
Actually, Heero just liked the idea of miniature Heero's running around. That and he was in shock.  
  
Author's Note: Okay, so this ones not so good, but the next one or two build off it and they promise to be really funny. Now, for my shout outs and three important announcements!  
  
Yume Keki: Thank you for understanding about my rating, and yes, they will have a kid. as you probably figured from this chapter. Motorala: Thank you! I'm so happy a Duo/Heero will put up with my Relena/Heero, and even happier you're enjoying it! YAY! I feel special! And don't go away! I like you, you don't bug me! Bad things happen to my readers when they go away! Or so I assume, because they never review again. Shadow: Um.thank you? That's a GOOD thing, right?  
  
First announcement- I'm sorry I misspelled Duo with Dou everyone. I just don't catch little things like that. Duo lovers don't hate me! *hides from rabid Duo fangirls out to kill her for misspelling their beloved's name*  
  
One more thing- If all of you here would PLEASE check out my fanfic It's My Fault, I would love you forever! I thought it was hilarious, but hardly anyone's read it. I know it says that you'd need to have seen Endless Waltz to understand, but it should still be funny if you haven't! I'm a desperate authoress who needs a life, so please, PLEASE just look at it and consider reading it. Okay, I'll stop scaring you away by groveling.  
  
Okay, last announcement: Up next is the Baby Shower chapter. If anyone wants to give Heero and Relena a shower gift, and/or have their OC written into the next chapter, feel free to review or E-mail me at Demon_Bunny4@Hotmail.com with a description of your character/ gift and you will be written in. I'd love to have people in it, I really would! Oh, and anyone is free to give them gag gifts, including more toasters. ^-^  
  
Anyway, Sailor Kirby's out! 


	6. The Important Author's Notes and Rants

Umm, this isn't a chapter, but I need to say something.  
  
IF YOU WANT TO BE IN THE BABY SHOWER CHAPTER: Please review or e-mail me your character soon. I'll be posting the chapter on November 1, so please try and get it to me before then. My E-Mail address is Demon_Bunny4@hotmail.com or Sailor_Kirby@YYHmail.com (but you are less likely to get a hold of me from that one, so I'd suggest using my hotmail.) So far I've only gotten The Amu Dragon of Light, Black, Bishi, and Pannerez in reviews and Moongirl and Kirbygirl, Yami-Ta, YaYuki, Sataru, and Liz from E-Mail or word of mouth (a lot of those guys I know in person.) So if you want to be in it, please get it to me by November 1.  
  
*Confetti explodes from one of those hanging ball thingies* It's my forty review anniversary! I feel so… special. WOO-HOO!  
  
And I have to say this. Nobody has to listen, but I must say it.  
  
Zer0 Kataru- You should know that I wrote a three page chapter/letter to you explaining why what you said was unfair and just downright mean. I came really close to posting it. So I'll sum up. Saying you didn't think it was funny or you didn't particularly care for it I could take. Saying POLITELY that you don't want to read it because it had OC's in it, I could understand. But calling me an idiot, making fun of me, insulting my abilities to write and complaining because it had OC's in it, then telling me it wasn't funny even though you didn't read it, that's just rude. My friend is Duoet. SHE made that character up. If you knew anything about her you'd know why I said Duo was hers. But you don't. And neither of us knew there was a Duet. But the thing is, we couldn't know, because she was CUT FROM THE SHOW. Even if she wasn't, we'd still be allowed to kick her off a cliff (you see it happen to poor Relena all the time) and create a character that gets with Duo named Duet or Duoet. Just say it. Duo and Duet? It's cute. It's fanFICTION. Fiction means MADE UP. When you make something up you can do virtually anything you want. Because it's made up. I don't like yaoi or yuri or lemons or any of that, but it's fiction so the author can do whatever the heck they want. If I don't like a fanfic, I don't like it because it was poorly written and I don't find it interesting. But I don't say anything. Because that's the polite thing to do. Oh, and your fanfic? I read one of the ones you had up before you deleted it and started over, even before you read mine. You can't complain. By making them act out of character and altering it so Sandrock is the strongest of the Gundams while really they're equal you might as well have put in an OC. And I didn't like it. But I didn't SAY anything to you, did I?  
  
Thank you to you, readers, who either continue to read my stuff or even lept to my defense against Zer0. Yume Keki, YaYuki, Yami-Ta, Heero's Gurl, The Amu Dragon of Light, Pannerez, all of you, even if I didn't list you here. Every single one of you are great. I love you all! Not like that… Like friends. Anyway, SK out. 


	7. The Baby Shower

Sailor Kirby can be seen, decked out in camouflage and combat boots.  
  
"Hey guys! Seems there's a war going on between readers. While we're at it, can I fight for claims over Gundam Wing? No? Aww…"  
  
Okay, randomness has ended. Now for the Baby Shower chapter, chock full of OC's and I LOVE it! Get over it, Zer0 and anyone else. I *like* Original Characters and I'm proud of it! So HA!  
  
The Baby Shower  
  
Relena sat on the couch, lounging, impregnated stomach swollen in front of her. Heero came in, glancing at the clock.  
  
"They should be here soon," Heero stated mildly, referring to the baby shower guests. Relena nodded vaguely, off in La-La-land, where many of us belong. The door opened, and MANY PEOPLE's favorite American male Gundam pilot waltzed in. Heero glared.  
  
"Don't you ever knock?"  
  
"`Course not," Duo replied, giving Relena a friendly hug, "How are you doing, Relena?" Relena beamed.  
  
"I'm fine. Isn't the world great? Happiness, happiness." Duo blinked, then shrugged. The doorbell rang, and Heero walked over to get it.  
  
Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre stood, arms full of brightly colored packages. Wufei, Heero noticed, looked grimmer than usual, but he beckoned them in. Quatre smiled sweetly at Relena, but before he could say anything, there was a pounding on the door. Heero pulled it open, and a stampede of girls ran in. On of them had fluffy black hair and yellow bangs, holding what looked suspiciously like a can of hairspray next to the gift she held. The other had black cat ears and tail, with big crimson eyes, and she appeared to be arguing with yet another girl, wearing a pink-and-black Sailor Moon uniform.  
  
"I'm Yami-Ta," the girl with hairspray announced, and proceeded to introduce the other two girls as YaYuki and Sailor Kirby.  
  
"And this is Moongirl and Kirbygirl," Sailor Kirby added, and from behind her came two littler ones of the female gender, "They're my… uh… cousins." (I seriously doubt any of you want to sit through the story of who they REALLY are, so we'll leave it at that. It's complicated, and involves some of the strange ideas that come from my mind.) Heero looked at her.  
  
"Weren't you at my wedding?" Sailor Kirby's eyes dropped. (SAPPY SCENE AHEAD, BUT I HAD TO PUT IT IN!!!)  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Oh wait. You're with Wufei, aren't you? Hey, Wufei!" He called, gesturing the Chinese pilot to the doorway, but he had gone somewhere. SK grabbed his wrist.  
  
"Don't," she said quietly, "Just don't bring us up." The rest of the group looked away uneasily.  
  
"Why?" Heero inquired.  
  
"…Nataku's anniversary of dying is coming up soon," SK said quietly, "I know he's hurting. He feels like he's betraying her by even trying to love again. I… I do love him. (I do, he's just so cool! And it's good that he gets slightly less 'women are scum' as the series progresses. *Sighs* Why can't the G-Boys be real, huh? Back to the story.) But I can't continue to hurt him. He needs to remain loyal to his Nataku only." She releases his wrist, and smiled broadly, "Heero's gunna be a DADDY!" Luckily, the doorbell rang again. Another girl bounced in, arms loaded with bags.  
  
"I'm Yume Keki, and I'm so happy for you!" she cried to Heero, flinging her arms around him and almost dropping the bags. She then ran over to Relena.  
  
"Congratulations!" YaYuki waved at Yume Keki.  
  
"Hi!" The two girls babbled as Heero opened the door again. This time it was a guy, black hair falling across his face.  
  
"Yo," Black said, dropping his gifts in the pile where everyone else's had conveniently dropped. Wufei choose that moment to return, and he saw Sailor Kirby. His eyes dropped and she looked away, before running over and hugging him. Black's eyebrows raised, a vein pulsing slightly.  
  
"Hi Wufei," Sailor Kirby said, "It's very nice to see you." Running off, she went and hugged everybody else. Heero was afraid as he opened the door again.  
  
"The name's Bishi," another guy said, walking in and dumping the box he held. From behind him yet ANOTHER girl came in.  
  
"And I'm Sataru. Congratulations," she said unenthusiastically, "Can I go use my laptop in your kitchen?"  
  
"No," Yume Keki retorted, her evil split taking over (she has the sane side, the evil side, and the insane side, or so she told me), "This is a party for Relena and Heero."  
  
The door opened again and Black Phoenix Fire came in. Heero rolled his eyes.  
  
"Doesn't anyone knock?"  
  
Black Phoenix Fire ignored him, going over and standing against the wall, ignoring everyone. A female walked in, none other than The Aku Dragon of Light, sometimes known as Samu. Relena smiled at everyone. Once more, the door flew open. There, arms folded, stood a girl with ice-blue Articuno wings accompanied by a different girl with a small pixie by the name of Cathandra. AKA, the infamous Cunobaby and Jewel. Relena beamed even more as the door opened the FINAL time (yipee!), where stood R3D5cou7, the ice demon cyborg. LOOONG story.   
  
"Thank you for coming," Relena smiled. Heero didn't say anything, eyeing the people suspiciously.  
  
"Did any of you actually receive an invitation?" They looked away, humming innocently. Relena got up and hit him over the head. Not that it hurt him.  
  
"Be nice to our guests, Heero!"  
  
Just then Yami-Ta pulled out a stereo, and a Grease CD. She popped it in-  
  
"Tell me more, tell me more, was it love at first sight? Tell me more tell me more, like did she put up a fight? Tell me more-" Fortunately, Heero stopped that catastrophe before it started. He went over and picked up the stereo.  
  
"AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!" he pitched it out the window. Duo ducked from instinct. Yami-Ta gasped, looking at the hole in the window.  
  
"That wasn't my stereo… Or my CD…" Samu sweatdropped slightly. Bishi promptly spotted Black for the first time.  
  
"You!"  
  
"You!"  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"I have every right to be here, same as you."  
  
"Liar!" Heero interjected.  
  
"*I* am the only one who starts wars in this house. Sit down. ALL of you," he directed at Moongirl and Kirbygirl who had started taking things off shelves. Relena continued to smile pointlessly. All of the guests sat down. Sailor Kirby sat on a couch next to YaYuki. Bishi sat next to her. Sailor Kirby noticeably scooted closer to YaYuki. Yami-Ta came over.  
  
"Excuse me," she said, shoving Bishi off the couch and taking his seat. Black came over glaring.  
  
"That's what you get for trying to sit next to my girl."  
  
"She's not your girl, she's my girl!"  
  
"She's my girl!"  
  
"I'm not either of your's girl," Sailor Kirby pointed out. They both glanced at her then went back to their argument.  
  
"She's my girl!"  
  
"My girl!"  
  
"SHUT UP! She's neither of your's girl! Now be quiet and stop bugging me!" Black Phoenix Fire yelled. Bishi had to ask.  
  
"How exactly are we bugging you?"  
  
"You're existence itself bothers me," she replied angrily, sitting down solemnly. Moongirl plopped on the carpet (she and Kirbygirl like the floor).  
  
"Open the presents! Open the presents!" Noting everyone staring at her, confused, she asked "What?"  
  
"Sounds like a good idea to me." Kirbygirl replied. Just then the doorbell rang. Heero went to get it, but Yume Keki jumped up.  
  
"I'LL GET IT I'LL GET IT I'LL GET IT!" she squealed, flinging the door open. It was a FedEx man, with a clipboard.  
  
"Delivery for Heero and Relena Peacecraft-Yuy (I couldn't get rid of Relena's last name, and Peacecraft-Yuy sound better than Yuy-Peacecraft, or at least it does to me. My foot hurts. Lost the feeling in my toes… Not been so lucky with the rest of the foot… BTW, I'm at YaYuki's house. I spent the night, and she had me try on one of her tap shoes from like the fourth grade, size six and a half, and I'm a size 8. Then I walked across the room. Owie...)" Heero took the clipboard, signing it.  
  
"Okay, thank you Mr. Peacecraft-Yuy. Hey, Joe! Get that box out here." Heero raised an eyebrow as a giant refrigerator box came out on one of those dolly things. Joe wheeled it into the house tipping his cap to Relena. He waved as he went back to the truck and he and the other delivery guys drove off. Yume Keki (insane side), Jewel, and Cunobaby pulled out sticks and started poking at it. R3D5cou7 decided this was fun, helping. Black Phoenix Fire rolled her eyes, muttering 'idiots…" Bishi pulled out a knife, sharpening it pointedly, eyes cast on Wufei's. Yami-Ta thwacked him on the back of the head. Moongirl and Kirbygirl pulled out what looked an awful lot like the startings of a bomb and started tinkering on them. Black went over to see if he could help. Samu hesitated, but shyly walked over to Black Phoenix Fire to try and make friends. Sailor Kirby began to pull Cunobaby from the box, since she knew what was in it (of course I know what's in it! They had to tell me in order to get it in this fanfic. So anyway. Oh, I'm not at YaYuki's anymore. Haven't been for a while. Yay! I finally got my foot out of that dumb shoe! Oh, blessed feeling in my toes and painlessness in the rest of my foot!). And frankly, they just shouldn't be poked.) Yume Keki's evil side came out.  
  
"Are you going to open it or what?" she sneered. Heero looked at Relena, decided he didn't want to give her something pointy to open the box and pulled out his own knife. Half the guests looked up at the sight of something so sharp and dangerous… Fun… He cut the tape, peering inside the box. First thing he pulled out was a note, Relena took it and read it aloud.  
  
"Hey, it's Pannerez. Sorry I couldn't come to the party, but here's your gift. I *know* you'll enjoy it. Love always, ~Pannerez~. Well that was thoughtful of her, wasn't it, Heero?"  
  
"Hnn," Heero replied, pulling out a box… a toaster box… "Relena, I think it's a box of toasters." Sure enough, he pulled out toaster after toaster after toaster after toaster (soda can clunks SK in back of head.), each a different size, color, and shape.  
  
"That's a lot of toasters," Jewel commented, Cathandra nodding in agreement. YaYuki spoke up, pulling her gift out of the pile.  
  
"Hey, that goes with my gift." She handed it to Relena, who opened the box. It was a loaf of bread, and a card of some sort.  
  
"To give your toasters an excellent work-out, this certificate is redeemable for a lifetime's supply of bread for ten from the local bakery. Never expires," Relena paused, "For ten? Just what do you think we'll do after this one?"  
  
"Eat toast, I hope," Yami-Ta proclaimed, handing over her gift. Relena and Heero opened it. It contained a jar of jam, with a very similar certificate, lifetime's supply of jam for ten. Sataru handed over her gift, a coupon good for ten lifetimes of butter.  
  
"Oh my," Relena said, but thanked them profusely. Yume Keki pointed out her three gifts, two boxes and a card, one from each of her splits.  
  
"That one's from me!" Insane Yume Keki proclaimed, as a box opened to reveal all sorts of osagi (or bunny) and neko (or cat) dolls, "And that's from me," Sane side said as an ABC book was pulled out of the other wrapped box. It could only be assumed the card was from Evil, so she didn't say anything. Relena read it to herself then laughed and handed it to Heero.  
  
"Scram mortals?" he asked. Evil nodded, arms crossed. Sailor Kirby bounced over, handing Relena a hideously wrapped purple package.  
  
"It's a bag of carrots," Moongirl whispered… loudly. Kirbygirl nodded. Sailor Kirby went into that anime-ish despair mood.  
  
"The secret… It's ruined…" Relena looked at Heero appealingly. He opened the gift.  
  
"Oh, wow. Carrots. I'm sooo thrilled and surprised. Thank you, Sailor Kirby," he said, monotone. SK beamed. (Heero- Do I *really* have to do that? SK: Yeah! I'm the authoress depriving myself of sleep, drawing time, and reading time to get this finished since I promised I'd post it like nine days ago… So sleepy… NO!! Must type! MUST!) Bishi stood up.  
  
"I have the greatest gift of all!" he yelled, tossing a box at Heero. Heero opened it, the other G-boys leaning over, semi-interested.  
  
"A… Chibi-Deathscythe doll," Duo said, "Ha!" He dissolved into laughter. Quatre smiled.  
  
"Why Deathscythe?" Wufei asked. Bishi glared.  
  
"Well, I'm not going to give a baby Shenlong. That would be a bad influence, giving it something relating to you." Wufei rose.  
  
"That's suits name is Nataku. Refer to it as nothing else," he demanded. Trowa interrupted this before it evolved any farther by suggesting Samu that she give the soon-to-be parents her gift. She nodded, handing them a bag. At last they received something baby-related, it being red and black bibs and camouflage baby clothes. Next Black gave his present, some blankets and a 50 dollar gift certificate to Baby's R Us. Heero leaned over to Relena.  
  
"Is that a real place?"  
  
"Yes. It's the best place to buy things for toddlers and babies." (I think. I don't have kids, it's not like I'd know. Shoot, let's hope I don't have kids. While Sailor Kirby is made to be around sixteen, I am only THIRTEEN. *cough cough* Bishi should note this *cough*)  
  
"Oh." Moongirl poked Heero in the back of the head, thrusting some blue clothes at him, with half-ripped tags at him.  
  
"From Kirby and I," she explained.  
  
"Why the ripped tags?"  
  
"If anyone asks, YOU bought them," Kirbygirl said quickly. Relena started to ask, but shook her head, deciding it wasn't a good idea. Cunobaby jumped up and down.  
  
"Oh, oh! Mine next!" Heero found a thick envelope among the rapidly shrinking pile of gifts. It was a official-looking legal document, land papers.  
  
"In short, it gives you claims over the island of Gagonea. It has these huge trees, and is about the size of the plot of land my house rests on," Cunobaby said. Jewel pointed to another page.  
  
"And this part is from me, giving you the ocean around Gagonea, around the size of a very large swimming pool." Cathandra nodded. Heero shrugged.  
  
"Okay then." (Have I forgotten anyone…? Brain all fuzzy… Can't focus…) R3D5cou7 used his mechanic arm to hand his gift, the last gift, off the floor. It was a fairly large box.  
  
"Ten blenders?" Quatre said. He burst into laughter. Sailor Kirby looked at the clock and gasped, standing up quickly.  
  
"Yume Keki, Black Phoenix Fire, YaYuki, Cunobaby, Yami-Ta, Jewel, Cathandra, R3D5cou7, Moongirl, Kirbygirl, Samu, Black, Sataru, Annoying Stalker Boy! We gotta go! Right now!"  
  
"What's the rush?" Cunobaby inquired.  
  
"Oh, there's no rush. I just need to go out to catch my bus. So the chapter needs to end. Let's go, hustle hustle, left, left, left, right, left," Sailor Kirby ushered the guests out of the house.  
  
"What the heck just happened?" Trowa asked. Relena shrugged.  
  
"Toast anyone?" Duo and Quatre asked, both of whom seemed to find playing with the new toasters amusing. Heero shrugged.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Author's Note: YAY!! IT'S DONE! This chapter, I am sorry, REALLY SUCKED. What did I get myself into?? I'm sorry this chapter's so bad. I really am. And if I made your OC very out of character or screwed up in any form, I am VERY VERY sorry! So very sorry! Please don't hate me!  
  
Oh yeah. You guys are probably wondering why the heck that this is being posted in the sixteenth instead of November 1st, as promised. Allow me to try and explain without taking three hours. If these sound like excuses, I guess they kinda are, but that's not what I'm intending them to be.  
  
1) It was Halloween. I'm guilty of spending the night at a friend's house on Halloween. But if you'll notice, I typed some while at YaYuki's house.  
  
2) There was suddenly a big wet spot in my room. My parents feared it to be a busted pipe, so over the course of the next four or five days I first "cleaned" my room, then my mom, sister, and I had to move all of that stuff across the hall into what is technically a guest room but in reality is the playroom. Then we discovered it's NOT a busted pipe (so we didn't have to rip up my carpet, praise the Lord!) it's the air conditioner leaking so I moved all the stuff BACK to my room (a surprisingly complicated procedure that took a non-exaggerated 3 days.)  
  
3) HOMEWORK! TOO MUCH BLASTED HOMEWORK! AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! Seriously, those dumb teachers- math homework, science homework, history homework, excessive amounts of language homework! Homework from classes I wasn't even aware I was taking! CURSE YOU 8th GRADE! CURSE YOU FOREVER!  
  
4) Football and Basketball games. That's why I'm a cheerleader, isn't it? To cheer at those games? A nerdy, unpopular cheerleader that doesn't let her bum hang out of her skirt by rolling it up fifty zillion times doesn't wear makeup can't do a cartwheel and none of the other cheerleaders talk to unless it be absolutely unavoidable, but a cheerleader none the less. Seriously though. Sometimes the squad captain and co-captain "forget" to tell me what cheer we're doing. Or they all follow me in the hallway, teasing me and making snide comments. Sorry, getting off subject. I do like cheerleading, just not the reputation proceeded by it.  
  
5) Dad. Sister. One computer, three people always wanting on. And, as sister and I are so constantly reminded, it's DAD's computer. He can spend all the time he wants on it. That's the hardest part, getting ON the computer TO type. Blah.  
  
So anyway, I deeply apologize for it being so late. Don't hate me. Please?  
  
BISHI!! STAY AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Black I at least know indirectly. He's my friend's… er… friend? I don't know the full story. But he's e-mailed me, you just keep popping up! SCARY MAN! GO AWAY! OR, at least introduce yourself. Yeesh. I suppose I'm flattered or whatever and I appreciate your defending me against Zer0 Kataru (the creep) but EWW. Keep it to yourself. (In all honesty, I don't really WANT to know how flexible you are. So there.) 


	8. The First Christmas

Merry Christmas to all! Even if you don't celebrate it. If you don't, I mean no insult to your religion or customs. Really. I promise! But I do celebrate it. I'm Methodist and proud of it! Umm.yeah. Itukki suggested a Christmas chapter, so here it is. I'm not going for funny on this chapter, so don't expect my usual, kinda cheap laughs.  
  
The First Christmas  
  
"There," Relena said in a hushed whisper, stepping down from the chair she was on. The tree was decorated, right down to the star on top. Heero smiled, draping his arms across her shoulders.  
  
"It looks great," he told her, "Merry Christmas." Relena reached over and turned off the light, so the comforting, multi-colored glow of the tree illuminated over the couple. Awe swept over them, seeping into every corner of the decorated house, Christmas spirit very much alive in the room. Heero pressed his lips against Relena's ear.  
  
"Wait a moment," he whispered, walking off. Relena said nothing, still captured by the tree.  
  
" 'For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son,' " Relena quoted, then smiled, "Whom was born on the very night of tommorow."  
  
By this time, Heero had returned and placed a package under the tree. He rejoined Relena.  
  
"The first gift under the tree," he told her, "is for you."  
  
"That's not necessary," Relena said, "I have you, soon we'll have a child, and we're both here. Even through it all. What more do I need?"  
  
"But it is necessary," Heero smiled, "It's a tradition." Relena turned to face him.  
  
"Heero-" she was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Hand in hand, the two went to answer it.  
  
The door was opened to reveal a group of children, pink nosed and cheeked, beaming in the light of the doorway. A woman was with them, and she motioned the group into place. Collectively, the children opened their mouths.  
  
"Well the fire is slowly dying, and my dear we're still goodbye-ing. And since I've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! When we've finally kissed good-night, how I hate a'goin out in the storm. But if you really hold me tight, all the way home I'll be warm!" Relena and Heero applauded when the children finished the song. But they weren't done yet.  
  
"Deck the halls with balls of holly, fa la la la la la la la la! 'Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la la la la la! Don we now our gay apparel, fa la la la la la la la la! Join the ancient, yule-time carol, fa la la la la la la la la!" (*Sailor Kirby note* I'm sorry, I more than likely got the word to both these songs wrong. But, whatever. ^-^) Relena clapped energetically, Heero joining in.  
  
"That was wonderful!" she exclaimed, then opened the door even wider, "Won't you all come in for some cocoa or something?" The lady shook her head.  
  
"Thanks, miss, but we've got a whole list of houses to visit, and the kiddies have to be home in half an hour because of their bedtimes. We should be going along now."  
  
"Wait just a second!" Relena pleaded, running into the kitchen. She pulled out a box of candy-canes.  
  
"Here, each of you take one," Relena gave each kid a cane, even handing the lady one.  
  
"Merry Christmas!" echoed as the carolers waved down the walkway. Relena and Heero waved as they disappeared down the street. Relena sighed contently, leaning her head on Heero's shoulder.  
  
"Heero, it's just like magic." Even as she uttered those words, a small flurry swept onto her face. She looked up towards the heavens, only to see what could only be snow.  
  
"Relena, it's SNOWING," Heero said, captivated, "It *is* magic." She looked up at him, and immediately noticed two things. One, Heero had a few pieces of tinsel stuck in his hair, and two. Mistletoe. Heero followed her gaze, eyes widening. He looked at her.  
  
"It's a Christmas law," Relena pointed out. Heero needed no convincing as he pulled her close to him.  
  
And far off in the distance, bells chimed.  
  
Author's note: Don't have much to say. Merry Christmas everyone. Again.  
  
I especially send Christmas wishes to Zer0 Kataru (may you find your soul), YaYuki (enough said), and Black. But that doesn't mean I don't wish everyone else happy holidays! Regular chapters should resume. 


	9. The Wait and The Birth

Sailor Kirby: Come on people. After all this time together, do we still think I am cool enough to own it? If so, we're going to point and laugh at you! Right guys?  
  
Moongirl and Kirbygirl: Right!  
  
All three: *point and laugh at pathetic mortals whom foolishly believe Sailor Kirby might actually own Gundam Wing…*  
  
WARNING: Panicky, out of character Heero! The perfect soldier does not necessarily make the perfect father…  
  
The Wait and The Birth  
  
"Are you *sure* you're alright Relena?" Heero questioned. Relena resisted the strong urge to hit him over the head with the vase of flowers next to her. He had pestered her ALL day yesterday, and ALL through the morning.  
  
"I'm fine Heero, just stop worrying."  
  
"But you're THREE weeks overdue! That can't be normal! It… It just can't be!"  
  
"Heero, calm down! I myself was six weeks late, and there's nothing wrong with me. Anyway, we can't just make the kid be born, you need to calm down and wait."  
  
"What if something's wrong?"  
  
"Heero" Relena said warningly. The anxious man backed off immediately.  
  
"So, what should we do?"  
  
"Nothing. It will happen when it's time."  
  
"But what if the time already passed?"  
  
"Heero!"  
  
"Okay, okay, sorry."  
  
"No, not that! My water broke." Relena's voice was borderline calm, borderline about to have a heart attack. Heero, however, sprang up, practically screaming bloody murder, running around while babbling as he threw things into the duffel bag by the couch.  
  
"It's time, it's time, ohmygoohmygod, oh sweet spirit of Wing, it's time! I'm gunna be a daddy, Relena's having my child…. NO! I'm not ready! Oh, shut the freak up, of course you're ready, and you're happy! Oh, I'm talking to myself, I must have lost it… Do we need this? No, no we need gloves and blankets, and hot water, and- Wait a minute! Hospital, hospital, that's where we need to go, C'mon Relena," Heero looked around. His wife was not there, "Relena…? Where did… where did you go?"  
  
(I told you he was panicky and out of character. Ha! You didn't belive me, didja? Never doubt the great Sailor Kirby! WAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding about the "great", by the way….)  
  
A sharp blast sounded from the limo. (Which, by the way, had in fact been repainted black after the honeymoon. Although, Relena had yet to let Heero get behind the wheel.) It seemed during Heero's panic-attack, Relena had somehow managed to get out to the car. No one's yet figured how, considering she'd been having difficulty even standing.  
  
"Lady with a baby, coming through!" Heero yelled, dragging Relena through the hospital corridor, "Hey, can we get some help over here?????"  
  
"Heero, slow down! I'm not giving birth this instant!" A nurse came up to the ex-pilot, putting a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Sir, we must ask you to contain yourself," he asked, calmly.  
  
"CONTAIN?! YOU WANT ME TO CONTAIN MYSELF?!? NOTHING'S GOING TO STOP MY BABY FROM COMING INTO THE WORLD TODAY, EXCEPT PERHAPS THE APOCALYPSE, BUT EVEN THEN I'M SURE GOD WILL NEGOTIATE!"  
  
For one that had survived so much during the war, it was rather surprising that a little thing like his wife in labor could make Heero fall apart. Relena decided that she, like so often before, should act as the voice of reason....  
  
"Heero, you go call the others to calm you down, sir, you please go get my doctor, and you," here Relena addressed the occupants of the lobby, "please except my apologies for my husband's yelling." It seemed being a Foreign Minister and Ruler of the Sanc Kingdom had taught Relena a thing or two about speaking negotiably. The nurse bobbed his head.  
  
"Right away, Miss Relena." Heero crossed his arms.  
  
"I'm staying right here." Relena glowered at him until he relented.  
  
"Fine, I'll go call them," he muttered.  
  
Two hours later, Heero was pacing. Duo and Quatre were playing cards while Trowa wrestled with the vending machine. Heero stop constantly to look down the hallway where his wife had disappeared, promising to send a nurse to get him when the time came. It was odd really. Heero could never recall himself pacing before, but here he was, wearing a dent in the floor.  
  
"Go fish," Duo told Quatre, smirking.  
  
"Duo, we aren't playing Go Fish, we're playing-"  
  
"Poker?" the brunette asked hopefully. Quatre sighed.  
  
"We're playing blackjack."  
  
"Oh, yeah…"  
  
"Duo, will you quit acting like you don't know what you're doing? We all know you're intelligent," Quatre said, pulling another card, "Fine, I'll stop with this."  
  
"Never show your full hand," Duo said with a laugh, "There. I got 21."  
  
Quatre gaped. He'd fallen right into the player's trap; he'd stopped at 19, sub-consciously figuring Duo would have stopped lower from lack of intelect. Duo grinned.  
  
"No hard feelings, right Blondie?"  
  
"None if you'll quit calling me that."  
  
Heero cracked his knuckles anxiously, causing the two to look up from their game. Trowa came back, tossing Heero a soda.  
  
"Calm down. I'll bet she's fine."  
  
"Yeah, she's perfectly healthy. Hey, Heero, came play Go Fish with us!"  
  
"Duo, we aren't… Oh, never mind."  
  
Just then a nurse came hurrying out of room 421, Relena's room.  
  
"Mr. Peacecraft-Yuy, your wife-"  
  
She didn't have time to finish, since Heero sprinted down the hall. He threw open the door, immediately grabbing Relena's hand. Her face was sweaty, and she breathed deep, and *cutting out gory details that I don't want to write, or know much about, so let's skip ahead like half an hour…*  
  
"Relena, she's perfect," Heero said in a hushed voice. Relena held the squirming bundle that had finally stopped crying. She looked sleepily up at Heero, and the two knew that life would be different, and that their girl had quite a set of lungs from the way she screamed, but in the end it was beautiful. Sleepless nights and endless rounds of diapers were ahead, but right then it was perfect…  
  
Author's Note: *blush* Sorry about the recent sappiness, particularly in the last chapter and the last part of this one. But whatever. Yay! I finished the chapter! Sailor Kirby out…  
  
Fav Dragon: Duoet! You reviewed! YAY!!!! *huggles from your bunny*  
  
Bishi. I. Am. Not. Your. Little. Peachy. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD. 


End file.
